Life as Mrs. Wilson

09 April, 2018

She & I

April 09, 2018 0
She & I

She lived in daily fear but had moments of courage. 

I’m not afraid anymore. 

She worried what others would think when they saw her paralyzed face and chose to hide most days. 

I’m okay if they judge me, I’m not afraid to be seen. 

She hated her body, her face, her flaws. 

I embrace who I am, flaws and all. 

She is not me, and I am not her. I was her..and I’m thankful for the lessons that have been learned. But even just one year later, from that picture to this one, I’m a different version of myself. Stronger, braver, and much more happy with the person I am. 

The point is, let yourself change - on the inside and out. Growth is never comfortable, but this life was never meant to be such. Keep growing, keep changing, and keep working toward the best version of yourself. 

25 March, 2018

Adversity? Opportunity.

March 25, 2018 0
Adversity? Opportunity.

I was told at a young age that trials are just opportunities, and that every struggle we have has purpose, even if it is just to show us that we are strong enough to endure it. We have opportunities to learn and grow through every situation in life -- the tricky part is to just remember that during the hard times.

I've written before about my love for the changing seasons of the earth, and how symbolic I feel they are in comparison to seasons of our own lives. Just as we need the life and warmth of spring, so too do we need the bitterness of winter. We need the heaviness to better appreciate the joy, and it truly does us no good to wish away the winter in hopes for warmer days, when we could have been playing in the snow all along. 

I feel that it's so fitting that this season of rebirth and growth is coming at a time filled with so much change in my own life. Just as the trees are starting to blossom and become filled with life once again, I too feel that excited energy. Excited to live and to be alive, despite sometimes feeling afraid that the cold frost could come back and hinder me.

 It's been a difficult month. With moving and adjusting to this new chapter of my life, I've found myself in tears of frustration and fear, and just pure exhaustion at times. While I am so excited for all of the new changes that are happening, I've struggled with feeling overwhelmed with it all. But as I've had time to sit and ponder, I'm starting to see the opportunity from the chaos.

I've learned how to find peace, even when surrounded by stacks of boxes and an energetic toddler.
I've accepted and found comfort in the knowledge that taking a break is okay, and that not every second of every day needs to feel productive.
I've embraced the mess that life sometimes is, and am learning to just go with it - even when my anxious mind wants otherwise.

I love this time of year, and I love where this season of life is taking me. Sure it's been hard, and sure there's a lot more struggle than simple at times. But these trials we face - no matter how big or small - are opportunities. And when we stop and see adversity for what it really is, there comes a liberating power with that knowledge.

So whatever it is you may be struggling with right now, know that you are strong enough to get through it. Know that you are absolutely never alone. Just as the calm always comes after the storm, joy will always come after sorrow. Never forget that you are enough, that you are loved, and that you are needed. Whatever it may be, just keep holding on, and look for the opportunity in the adversity. 

Image result for no rain no flowers
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26 February, 2018

Pursuing Joy Despite the Pain

February 26, 2018 0
Pursuing Joy Despite the Pain
I believe each of us are born with a life purpose, and I believe that one of the most important things we must all do in life is both discover and honor that purpose.

While I'm still on the path to discovering my own personal life purpose, I do know that if I could give you one word to describe what I honor most in life right now, it's joy. Or rather, the pursuit of joy.

I've always considered myself a happy person, which felt deeply hypocritical to say during the darkest of my years with depression. However, I have always held the belief that we were each created to have joy here on this earth - and that that is actually the point of our very existence: to have joy.
Now I'm not trying to say that I think we were meant to just have joy and only joy in this life. I believe that there's value in trials, even necessity for trials. I truly believe that we must endure sorrow to fully appreciate joy, and that our greatest struggles in life will guide us to the greatest joys in life. The most significant thing I've learned regarding joy, however, is how crucial it is for us to pursue joy despite the pain we experience.

My life, and I am sure your life as well, has been filled with a lot of pain. From the big trials to the small trials, and all the way to the ones that have brought me to my knees in despair, I get that it's not always easy to even want to pursue joy. I get that there are moments in life that knock us down so hard we feel that even breathing is too heavy of a burden, but even in those moments of anguish, we each have the power to continue on. We have the power to choose to pick ourselves back up, rise above the sorrow, and begin to heal.

We have the power to chase contentment, and we have the power to create a life for ourselves that is not only happy, but joyous. 
I wish I could adequately express to you how profoundly better my life has become since I truly discovered that I could still live joyfully despite my struggles, and even during my struggles. I wish I could better describe to you the hope, gratitude, and peace I feel knowing that we were each innately designed to have joy.

But I hope that if you are currently in a season of sorrow or pain, that you know how incredibly loved you are, and that there is joy in store for you - and lots of it. I hope that if you're reading this and can't remember what joy feels like, that you will fight for that feeling with everything you have, and that you won't give up on pursuing joy today. I promise you it's worth the pursuit. It's worth the struggle, it's worth the tears, it's worth the pain. And I think it's important that I remind you of that.

So I guess maybe that is my life have joy and to share joy. Because my goodness, I have never before felt so compelled to simply share the joy I feel. I've never been this happy in my life, and I know it is because I intentionally choose to pursue joy every single day. So whether you're in the trenches of trial or the pinnacle of peace, I hope you know how deserving you are of joy. I hope you know that you were meant to have joy in this life, and that you can pursue joy despite the pain.
"The joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives." 
-Russel M. Nelson

16 February, 2018

In Times Like These

February 16, 2018 0
In Times Like These
I know that many of us are left with hollow feelings as we read the news each day. It can feel overwhelming and downright depressing as we hear day after day of yet another tragedy. Another crime. Another source of pain.

I recognize that so many are questioning, where do we go from here? How can we help?

So, might I suggest starting where each of us are at --- right now. Many are capable of donating time, talents, and resources to those in need - do such. Many of us simply need a message of hope - seek those, share those. And many of us are wondering what comes next.

Well, next, we serve. And we lift. And we love.

We reach out to those close to us and we love them. And we show gratitude for them. And we grieve as we need to, and then we allow ourselves to seek and feel joy once more.

If you, like me, are struggling to feel joy in times like these, take heart. Though there is undoubtedly evil in this world, there is more good. There will always be more good.

So, be that good. Share that light. Build others up - willingly and lovingly. Continue to be kind. Continue to believe that there are great days ahead of us regardless of any tragedy we may face. Never surrender to the darkness.
And don't give up on this world just yet.

I believe in people.

I believe in the inherent goodness that exists in each of us.

I believe in a Heavenly Father who loves each and every one of His children.

I believe in hope for the future.

I believe in peaceful days and peaceful hearts.

I will never stop believing that there will always be more good in this world than evil.

And that's what gets me through times like these.