Life as Mrs. Wilson

04 June, 2018

Why I Chose Motherhood in a World Full of Chaos

June 04, 2018 0
Why I Chose Motherhood in a World Full of Chaos
It's something I've heard over and over again, and even something I've thought to myself: How could I ever bring a child into a world as scary as this? Why would I bring an innocent child into a world filled with so much chaos and hate? 
I remember watching the news of the Las Vegas shooting while holding my sleeping baby in my arms. The sorrow I felt was immense. My heart ached for the lives lost, the unnecessary pain inflicted, and for the gut-wrenching realization that seeing shootings and violence and hatred and war would be considered the norm in my son's life from the very beginning.
I asked myself a lot why I still felt such a strong desire and need to raise a family of my own in this world. And the more I thought about it, the more clear my answer became.
This world may be growing in chaos, but my heart is not. My home still feels like a sacred space where peace abounds in every moment. I see the joy my son has every day, and the joy he brings to me and all those around him. Why would I ever want to miss out on that? Why would I ever give up my greatest joy, out of fear?
We as parents have the capacity to raise this next generation to be strong, brave, kind, loving, and capable human beings that will stand up and shed a little more light on this world. WE have that power! We can teach our children that peace is more than a lofty ideal, and that they can experience inner peace no matter what is going on around them.
Sure, the things going on around us are scary. And there is a lot of bad in the world. But there is SO much more good. There is so much joy to be found in every single day, no matter what is happening. And whatever is to come, I would choose motherhood over and over again in a heartbeat.
I choose motherhood in a world of chaos because motherhood is where I find my peace. I choose motherhood because I know there is still so much good in the world, and I want my children to experience that. I want them to stand up for truth, and stand up for love, and stand up for what is right - and fear isn't going to get us any of that.

 Don't let the circumstances of the world stop you from becoming a mother if that is your desire. This is a wonderful time to be alive, and a great time to be a mom. 

03 June, 2018

Current Reads: Why I Left the Mormon Church and Came Back

June 03, 2018 0
Current Reads: Why I Left the Mormon Church and Came Back
"No matter where we are in the world - regardless of race, gender, age, or circumstance - we are all searching for something. Everyone is looking for the answers to life's questions. Everyone is looking for love, for happiness, to feel whole, to feel important and valued, to feel like they're not alone."
 - Haleigh Everts

It's not often that I enjoy a book so much that I read it within a couple of days, so it seemed natural to want to share about it here on my little piece of the internet! I love any chance I can get to listen to (or in this case, read about) someone's life story, and I absolutely loved getting to know Haleigh's story through her book, Why I Left the Mormon Church and Came Back. 

Throughout the entire book, Haleigh writes in present tense, which paints such a vivid picture of what her perspective and thoughts were at that particular time in her life. From heartache to hope, her honesty and vulnerability in telling her story was incredibly refreshing. 

 As a member of the LDS faith myself, I cannot express enough how empowering it is to get an inside view of someone else's personal journey of conversion in the church, and to see how alike we all are in our thoughts and feelings, no matter how different our paths may look. 

I loved reading this story of strength and renewal of faith, and would absolutely recommend it to anyone out there! Whether you have had doubts about your faith or not, it is a great read for everyone.

You can find the book here and here, and can follow along with Haleigh's life on her Instagram, right here

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08 May, 2018

5 Steps to a Joyful Now

May 08, 2018 0
5 Steps to a Joyful Now
(Photo by Whitney Jean Photography)
Going from the depths of depression to the heights of happiness has been the most intense, fervent, and rewarding voyage of my existence. It hasn't come without struggle, or regression, or without a wholehearted effort. So it always surprises me a little when I get asked how I manage to stay so happy all the time - mostly because I was probably the least happy person I knew for that nearly  decade-long fight with depression. Somehow I've managed to find my way out of that darkness and into the greatest joy I've ever known, and I don't think that was random or that it magically happened overnight. As I've taken time to think about how I've gotten to this place of happiness, my answer surprised me. And I thought I'd finally share my answer for those who have asked me this question.

Step 1 -- Make your choice.

Now, if you are in the midst of depression or sadness, I need you to know that I feel for you and I understand the anger and frustration that can come from someone telling you to 'just choose to be happy' - but hear me out.

More and more studies in the world of neuroscience are proving that you can literally rewire your brain through your own conscious thoughts and decisions. As in, you CAN choose what you put in that head space. You choose what power dictates your thoughts. Darkness, or light.

While you do not necessarily have control over the chemical makeup of your body, you DO have control over how long you let the darkness fill your mind. You CAN choose to fight the darkness. You CAN choose. And you WILL beat it.

So the first step to a joyful now -- choose. Make the conscious decision to pursue happiness. Take ownership of your life and that you are the one who decides if you live life or let life happen to you.

Step 2 -- Set limits.

This goes for every aspect of life, but particularly for social media. While I am a huge advocate for the incredible blessings that social media can bring into our lives, I am also keenly aware of how damaging it can be if not used properly.

Limit the time you spend on social media and stick to whatever time limit you've set for yourself. Recognize your triggers, and remove them from your sight when possible. Limit which forms of social media you're on and be aware of what is negatively influencing you. Know why you're logging on, and if it is to distract you from your current thoughts and emotions --- LOG OFF and let yourself feel what you're feeling.

Step 3 -- Spend time in silence.

Whether you pray, meditate, sit silently in nature, or a combination of the three, you have to take time to be silent. I've made it mandatory for myself to take a minimum of 5 minutes a day to meditate. This helps me to stay grounded and centered. I also pray throughout the day, especially when I have bursts of anxiety or sadness. I've found that in those times, the best thing you can do is take a moment to be silent.

Step 4 -- Practice gratitude. 

This has been the absolute biggest game changer in my life. The effects of expressing gratitude are incredible (here's an awesome study on how gratitude effects neural activity)! I personally like to do my gratitude practice on my daily walks with my son, but anything from keeping a gratitude journal to simply verbalizing 5 things you're grateful for every day can and will change your life for the better. Gratitude is the gateway to joy, so make sure you're consciously giving thanks every single day.

Step 5 -- Seek simple joys.

It can be difficult to find anything that brings you joy when you're struggling, which is exactly why you have to start seeking the small things. From reading a good book to having a clean bedroom, beautiful flowers or raspberry lemonade -- seek out the simple joys. Something I did when I found myself succumbing to apathy, was I forced myself to sit down and write 20 things that brought me joy. It took me several hours to come up with the list, but it helped me so much to realize that there really were things in life that brought me joy. If you can find joy in the small things, it makes the big things that much sweeter.


Above all, know that joy is 100% attainable no matter your circumstances, and know that you are absolutely deserving of a joyful now. Don't wait for life to get easier, or things to slow down, or whatever it is that you are telling yourself is keeping you from happiness. Find the root of your negative thoughts and feelings and work from there. The journey from sorrow to joy is not an easy one, but it is more worth it than I can even describe.

I hope these steps can help even just one of you that has asked me about finding joy. They have helped me through the thick of it and continue to help me every day. Don't give up the fight for joy. Don't give up on yourself. Keep going, keep loving, and keep working toward a joyful now. You deserve all the joy in the world, and I promise it's right out there waiting for you, so just reach out and take that first step.

30 April, 2018

Be Here Today

April 30, 2018 0
Be Here Today

It's been one year since someone I love and adore lost their battle with depression. It's hard to believe that a year has already passed, and it's still hard to believe that they're really gone.

Losing someone to suicide is absolutely devastating, and going through depression dark enough to feel that ending your life is the only escape, is tragic.

I have been in that dark place more than once, and my heart breaks over and over again any time I hear about someone ending their own life, because not only do I know what it's like to lose someone you love, I know what it's like to almost be that person that is lost.

My words fall short every time I try to say what I feel, but I guess what matters most is this:

Be here today.

And be here tomorrow.

If you are in the throws of life, in that darkness that feels all-consuming and impossible to escape...be here today.

There is light and love ready to encircle you.

You are not forgotten, and you are absolutely not alone.

Be here today, please.

Just be here today.

There are so many people ready and willing to provide you with the tools you need to get through this - - - please let them help you, and don't be ashamed of asking for help. You are loved, you are needed, and you are strong enough to get through this, whatever 'this' might be.

Light and love,

McKell

Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Online Chat:  https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
My Personal Email: mckell.quilter@gmail.com