The Part of the Story You Don't Know

May 02, 2016


For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a mom.
This past November, my doctor suggested going off of birth control for 3 months because of the many adverse effects on my health that I had experienced using the medication. I felt this was the best decision for the time being as well. Jake and I had discussed the possibility of 'just seeing what happened', but quickly decided against it and continued on with the plan that we would try to start a family once I graduated. That plan obviously didn't work out, and honestly, we couldn't be more excited! We know that this was not a mistake and that this is the exact time our son is meant to come to earth. While you know that I am beyond excited for this little boy, here's the part of the story you don't know.
On the morning of January 13th, I went to take my prescriptions as I had done nearly every morning for the past 6 years. However, as I began to lift up the bottles, I felt a force, as if it were a palpable hand, pushing my hand back down. I physically could not pick up my medicine. It was so bizarre to me that I attempted to pick up my medications three more times before realizing that whatever this force was, was very real and that I really was not going to be able to take my medicine that day.
 So, I didn't take my medicine and questioned why in the world that would happen or how it could happen at all. It only took about 7 hours from that time for my body to suffer. Intense withdrawals began; my body shook and I was more nauseated than I had been in my whole life. The next day came, same thing. I could not take my medicine. I found it odd and frustrating but continued on with my day. The withdrawals got worse as the days went on, and the next two weeks after I stopped taking my medicine were arguably the hardest of my life. It felt like my body was shutting down. Why was this happening? I didn't want to discuss it with a doctor - I knew it wouldn't make sense why I was doing this (it hardly made sense to me). However, two weeks and one day later, it all became extremely clear.
Throughout those two weeks, I was constantly questioning why I had to go through this. Why in the world could I not take my medication? I would have little thoughts pop in my head that maybe I was pregnant, but I quickly brushed those thoughts away. There was no way I could be pregnant this quick without trying!
But, two weeks and one day after I had stopped taking my medicine, I took a test. I took a pregnancy test that morning because I had a box of them 'just in case'. So, I took the test as more of a "well, it's the last one in the box, might as well get rid of it" sort of notion. Within seconds, the test showed I was pregnant. I was in shock, but at the same time it all made sense. I told Jacob immediately and he was thrilled. We couldn't have been more excited! We were both so surprised, but so overjoyed. We knew immediately that this was the will of God and that this happened for a definite reason. We had both wanted to be parents for so long, and though we had intended on trying to become parents much later on in life, those hesitant thoughts soon melted away.
I'm so beyond thankful for whatever divine intervention caused me to stop taking my medicine. The crazy thing is, after calculating my due date and all parts of the equation, it added up to my conception date being the very day before I stopped taking my medicine. I know without a doubt that the Lord is deeply involved in the very details of our lives. He knew that all three of my prescriptions were deemed unsafe for me to take while pregnant, and intervened so I could have the healthiest possible pregnancy to bring our sweet son to this earth.
My testimony of the healing power of the atonement has grown exponentially since this experience. I always knew that the atonement heals us emotionally, but I always seemed to forget the physical healing powers of the atonement. I still struggle with my depression and anxiety, but so much of it has been lifted. I no longer need any medications to manage my health problems, and I feel that I will never need to take those medications again. My heart feels strong, physically and emotionally. My thoughts of suicide have nearly diminished. My body is healing, because of Him. Because of Him, I can carry this child with confidence.
I never thought I would be free of taking prescriptions - and I definitely don't intend for those that read this to believe that all physical ailments are resolved through the atonement in this life; I do believe that pharmaceuticals can be a necessity and absolute blessing. But for whatever reason, I believe that Heavenly Father saw fit for these ailments to be lifted from me through the atonement, and I am beyond thankful and blessed.
 So, there's the part of the story you didn't know - the part that I never thought I'd share. The thing is though, the atonement is so much more than we can possibly comprehend. Miracles surround us daily. The atonement has the power to heal us in all aspects of life: emotional, mental, physical. The healing of bodies is not just found in scripture. It is here, now. I know this more now than ever before. I am continually amazed by the power this gospel truly holds. It is true! It really is. 

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