To My Darling Son

08/10/2016

To my darling son,

Though you are not here yet, I love you more than words can express. I have loved you for so long, and that love has only grown over these past months of carrying you. I have loved every second of carrying you inside of me. From the moment I knew your presence existed, to the first time I ever felt your precious feet kick me, and all the moments in between..I have loved you. And though I have been carrying you for all these months, in reality, you have been carrying me. Your presence has lifted my spirit and helped me through moments of despair and pain. Your spirit has enlightened me and made me better than I could ever be without you. I can hardly wait to have you in my arms and walk with you through this crazy thing called life.

I have wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember, and the fact that our Heavenly Father has put His trust in me to be your mom is a blessing beyond compare. I know that we knew each other before this life and that we have both been anxiously waiting to reunite with one another. Isn’t it amazing that we finally get to see each other again so soon? I feel so blessed and humbled that I get to be your mom, Conrad. You are everything I could have ever hoped or dreamed for and I haven’t even seen you yet. I know that you will make mine and your dad’s lives so much better.

Being pregnant with you has been the most challenging yet rewarding thing I have done in my entire life. I love you beyond words. I love you beyond comprehension. Sometimes I worry that I won’t be a good enough mom for you, but I promise you I will always do my best. I promise you that I will give my very best to you and your dad, and to our Heavenly Father. I will always give you my time, my energy, and my love.  

I am so excited to hold you in my arms for the first time, to comfort you, to get to know you. I am so excited to laugh with you, and cry with you, and learn with you. I will always strive to be an example to you and to teach you the gospel in word and deed. Your dad and I love you with everything we have. We will always be your friends and your guardians. We will always love you. As your due date gets closer and closer, I can’t help but feel a little sad that I won’t have you with me every moment. I have so very much loved feeling your kicks and movements letting me know that you are there. I have loved keeping you safe and you helping me feel safe and assuring me that I am never alone. You have been my constant and have impacted my life so deeply already.

I love you, my sweet Conrad James. I am so excited for you to be here, and I want you to always look to your father as an example. Oh Conrad, you are going to love him so much! He is the kindest, most diligent, hardworking, loving, and amazing person I know. Your dad works so hard for you and me already. He works so hard to provide for us and has so much love for you. He loves to talk to you and tell you he loves you. He always makes sure that I am taking good care of my body for you and that you are doing well. He has not missed a single doctors appointment from the moment you came into existence. Your dad is going to be such a blessing in your life and will always protect you and guide you. You and I are both so incredibly lucky to have him and I can’t wait for you to meet him.

Though you are not here yet, I love you more than words can express. My darling son, I love you. I love you through and through and for all eternity. I will cherish every last moment of feeling your sweet kicks and movements inside of me and will continue looking forward to seeing you in just 8 short weeks. My love for you will only grow in time. Thank you for choosing me to be your momma, I promise you I will love you forever.

Love you always,

Mom.